Counting Down to Fatherhood
by Chanel Smith
What’s going on y’all. Hope all is well. I’m almost a week removed from my charity basketball game, which was amazing! The University of Maryland took great care of me and my foundation team worked their tails off. Nothing makes me happier than seeing kids smile and to think that any day now I will be looking at my own son is a blessing. We have come a long way since Chanel made me do the Prego picture even though it seems like it was yesterday. Torrey Jeremiah Smith will be making his way into the world and will change our lives forever. Being a Father is something that I take a lot of pride in for several reasons.
First and foremost, I am responsible for bringing him here. Not my mother, grandmother, or any other family member, so therefore I must provide for him. Everyone needs help at times but I knew I didn’t want to bring a child into this world if I didn’t have myself together. If I still needed to depend on someone, what good is that going to do my child? My wife and I are a team and we have very supportive families but they aren’t responsible for our child. Their job is to love and spoil them, not to make sure they have a meal to eat and a roof over their head. I wasn’t raised with my father in the house so it is something that I wanted to make sure I did the “right” way.
I wanted to be married before I had my first child. I take a lot of pride in that because I feel that is the way it should be done like in the old days. I’m not judging families that have kids before marriage, because I’m the product of that myself. I just knew that I wanted to be different than the growing trend of folks just having babies just to have them or become a statistic of the many men leaving the women as single mothers. I wanted to welcome a child into this world with the intent to grow as a family with my partner, not bring a child into this world because of a reckless night of “fun”. The more things I can do the “right way” the more my child will believe me when I preach it.
I want my son to look at me like I’m the best man in the world. With that I have to be the best man that I can be. I can’t send mixed signals and that puts pressure on me to live my life a certain way. If I’m blessed with a daughter one day I want to show her how a man should treat her in hopes that she knows what to look for when she gets married. Am I perfect? No, but I’m trying to place higher standards on myself in hopes that I will live a certain way. I still have a lot of growing to do as an individual to reach those standards but I’m going to work hard to get there.
In my opinion the best leaders are those whose actions speak louder than their words. When it comes to parenting I want to show my son better than I can tell him. With that I must better myself! He doesn’t even know that he has changed my life and he isn’t even here yet. I will give my all to him and let him know that it is ok to love someone and tell them that you love them. That is something that I struggled with because I never really heard it growing up. If I did, the actions didn’t really add up to me so I never really believed it no matter who was saying it. I want to make sure that he has an open mind and open heart. That he can give and receive love, be respectful, and give more than he takes. These are all things that will not happen overnight but I will do my part in making sure he is a well-balanced young man. I thank God every day for the opportunity to be a parent. I believe that everything happens for a reason and he is here for a reason! Now I must raise him to be a better man than I could ever dream of being. Can’t wait to meet little TJ. IT’S ABOUT TO GO DOWN!!!!!